Axl Rose to undergo emergency surgery tonight to remove large mass from testicles

Guns N' Roses front man, Axl Rose, has checked into a New York area hospital to undergo surgery to remove a large growth from his testicles. "I began having problems several years ago with a large mass on my right testicle and finally had it checked out when I was in New York. Doctors were shocked to discover ex-Skid Row front man Sebastian Bach clinging to my balls. I guess over the years I grew used to it and thought nothing of him being there but it is finally time to have him removed."
Rose is expected to re-join the Axl Rose band (aka Guns n' Roses lite) in two weeks.