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I give you a grand show on this Christmas Eve hour

Sit back and enjoy, I'm your host, Matt Lauer

For all the men, women, and children to see

I've taken back over M.S.N.B.C.

Here I have cuffed up a female news anchor

I pull down her jeans and then proceed to spank her

Pulling aside her panties unconsensually

I put my tiny piece of meat in her tight pussy

Families witnessing pure shock an awe

And here comes Alec Baldwin dressed as Santa Claus

Three inches of phallus stuffed into her mouth

As I proceed to poke her way down South

Here comes Amy Schumer and Bernie Sanders also

Cathy Griffin, Chelsea Manning, and Kevin Spacey, oh no

All the ladies and Bernie then whip out their dicks

And jack off all around the poor news anchor chick

They swap positions and Bernie gives her the poke

Amy busts a nut on her as she tells a poorly made joke

Cathy Griffin then whips out her throbbing fat dick

It's much bigger than mine, what the fuck, holy shit

All us celebrity perverts shower her in cum

Smearing her mascara as down her cheeks it runs

Over her pitiful cries and desperate moans

Nobody sees the door open to let in Alex Jones

With Clint Eastwood and Jeff Foxworthy by his side

He's hear to save our victim, we have nowhere to hide

Jeff Foxworthy puts a 40 cal round in Amy's spleen

As Clint Eastwood blows Cathy's dick to smithereens

A roaring chainsaw, the preffered weapon of Alex

Revving it up he then proceeds to gut Alec

Revenge has been made for his shitty SNL skit

Three rounds from Clint's M16 make Bernie's skull split

Jeff blows Kevin's brains into a week later

Points his gun at Chelsea and says "Time to die, traitor"

Two rounds to the knees knock her to floor

Then shot in the head, she now is no more

As I Matt Lauer, lay at Alex's mercy

He saws off my head for all the world to see

He frees the poor woman, she sadly needs a few stitches

The entire left wing are just whiny ass bitches