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consumed by the duality

what is really home

both never truly a part of me

an abyss, all my own

a civilization built on disgust

it’s no wonder I struggle

never able to integrate

hatred, embraced

admiring the agony I created

a home so anomalous

engulfed in my own hell

this must be like home

spiraling auras of cryptic forms

a flickering portal, a blackened storm

they converge to create my blight

this violent force, my invite

I ascend to

face this gateway

I ascend to

face my fate

crippling deceit drives me

forward

the agonizing unknown

pulls me back

it falls from desolate skies

a piece of me

it reminds me of the lies I’ve told

to integrate

the rejection I’ve faced

I don’t belong here

I’m not human

I don’t belong here

spiraling auras of cryptic forms

point me to my home

they converge to create a familiar shape

this welcoming force, is my own

despised from within

I fight this conflict

my own mind betrays me

I don’t trust anything

this chasm of black mirrors pulls me down

my mind’s pillars keep me bound

their own withered dust obscures

home fades

a fate I must endure

what is left

is it worth the suffering

is it worth the pain

if home is gone

can I ever return

what little hope was left

is dead

there must be another way

to find my home

but is it worth the colossal shift

into the unknown

I must try

I must not leave my soul behind

this is not home

and now I know