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My body eats me alive before I can truly ripen to fruition

Decadent hedonism, pleasure distracts my wayward gaze

from the woeful menagerie

The unrelenting, undefinable yet undisputed entity

Known as time

Years like teeth made of daggers, carving lines like wounds

Deeper than the razor of a new day, sheds the forest consuming me

A shadow engulfing the realm of my fading smile

I wonder have 'I overstayed my welcome?

Has my purpose been clouded by the idea of

Loving the person I kept numb and safe under a cloak of doubt

and conditioned diminishment?

Did I misinterpret the love I admitted to mean a shelter from the storms

That rile my heart with a hatred begotten from avenging man's injustices?

Sometimes I think I was made for sacrifice

I relinquish myself to misery for others, I ask for punishment

To be stricken rather than forgiven, self-condemnation

I see no change in me, none in the world for all I have accomplished

Nostalgia like a fix averts my indecision

I don the veil of ignorance to obscure my vision

I don't understand what I am but from that which came before

and who exists in the fleeting present

I want to be beautiful like her, effortlessly confident

I am cheap and will always feel derivative of a truth

My health and happiness could mean shit

if I don't make some difference

Every day I don't spill my veins is a fucking miracle.