---

Blood burning through my veins, begging, crying for it to cease.

I'll fight this hurt with pain,

I'll give myself a release.

Valleys open up before my eyes.

Standing still they wait, and as if taken by surprise,

These valleys become lakes.

I want to run through the valleys again.

I am seized by an old addiction.

And as the dark descends, I try to resist the temptation.

I want to live.

I want a real slice of death, just a little taste.

I want it, but there's never enough piled on my plate.

I scratch away at the surface of my plate of scraps, of armor,

breaking through years of carapace, years of woven silk cover.

Blurring the lines and learning my limits,

where do I end and reality begin?

I look at my skin and wonder who did it.

Not I - I want to live. I want to live.

So long I thought I had left it behind.

This lavender and white moment suspended in time.

So long ago it seems,

so long I cannot recall when I first built these beams,

supporting an ego so tall.

So undeniably deep, protecting myself kept far within,

so when I slip from my own detection,

I must tear my way back in.