---

I keep pacing back and forth

it's a painful pill to swallow

in that moment you realise nothing gets better

after years of self improvement

there's always that single moment

that triggers another relapse

spiralling down into a cycle of self hate

and patterns of self destruction

we all have our poisons

whether it be heroin and a needle

alcoholism, erratic behaviour

or a taste for self destruction

there's no saving us

we must accept the fact that we all will die alone

agonising existence

overwhelming melancholy

this constant sense of unending torment

happiness will never be reached again

mental anguish seems to be a constant feeling

and it's been so long since I've felt

any sense of self worth

I was almost human

so fucking close

now I feel alienated and disregarded

cast into the shadows

dwelling in a shade of my own trauma

I'll never be free from this

forever imprisoned by isolation