How much longer must I spend down here, Lord,
Amongst these creatures?
It is only befitting to beseech the god of my better forbears
Despite my protestations
For I am growing ultimately weary
And wish to return to the river that runs beyond
And through this noisome world
No more failing flesh and its endless anxieties
No more imprisonment in the tiresome mazes
Of embodied thought and action
Ceaseless days, nights, and years
Always contingent upon every contingency
Bartering with the same bureaucratic demons
And the arrogant, tyrannical archons
Of everyday life
What more could they require of me?
I have given everything
To acquire just another hour
Spent where I should be—in a song like this
Yet here I am, buried behind so many lines of retreat
Surrounded by enemies on all sides
Nothing but foreign lands in all directions
Never once at home
Always navigating barbed wire
And dragon’s teeth
Borrowing a language that nobody speaks
Rotting each day in yet another dungeon
Forever beating back
The many inexorable growing darknesses
That kill another part of me each time
No more vicissitudes and decaying routines
And the transience of lived experience
In the much-vaunted eternal present
That I’ve drank enough of to know
That there isn’t much at all behind its veil
It is all too much to bear to be in the flesh like this
Never again, Lord
Or whomever
Not ever again
Not another incarnation left to chance
Not another cycle a town or two over
Or even beyond
Lord—let me be nothing else
A germ born from this host, freed forever
Never again to trudge through the corridors
Of yet another lifetime
Haunting wherever
And whomever I choose
Refracted and spiraling out
In all directions
In all temporalities
To be the purity of an essence—and nothing else.