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I went to the public telephone

Just to give you a call

But when I put my money in

I swear I got cut off

I phoned the operator, she said

'Don't give me that line

If you think you've been ripped off

Dial 999.'

Telephone, telephone

I dialled the number she gave me

And then I heard coming down the wire

A voice just like a machine, saying

'What service do you require?'

'I don't want no service,'

I said 'I'm just trying to get through

This is the only number

That I've got for you.'

Telephone, telephone

So if you wanna reach me

Or I wanna get to you

We won't use the telephone

This is what we'll do

I'll send you a postcard

Or you drop me a line

Then I won't get so hung up

dialling 999

Telephone, Telephone