Awaking in total chaos frantic, searching for anything grasping at the pieces trying to make them fit trying to understand the sickness, the looming guilt the fear and the shame that consume me relentless defecation a thousand dagger pierce my mind undying thirst, my sickness grows every shadow stares through my soul glimpses of horror flash before my eyes I recall a brutal truth the shame beats me down I have no strength to fight sick and feeble, I thirst for liquid courage to ease my worried mind to still my shaking hands there is no rest for the weary the cycle will begin again