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Awaking in total chaos

frantic, searching for anything

grasping at the pieces

trying to make them fit

trying to understand

the sickness, the looming guilt

the fear and the shame that consume me

relentless defecation

a thousand dagger pierce my mind

undying thirst, my sickness grows

every shadow stares through my soul

glimpses of horror flash before my eyes

I recall a brutal truth

the shame beats me down

I have no strength to fight

sick and feeble, I thirst for liquid courage

to ease my worried mind

to still my shaking hands

there is no rest for the weary

the cycle will begin again