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I

Am

Not quite a "licensed professional" per se

But I do take on clients for minimal pay

I own my own table and rubber gloves too

In a dimly lit spot stocked with scalpels and glue

Lay down, close your eyes and just point to what hurts

I'll drug you and cut you, that usually works

Since you're feeling some chest pains I might dig around

See what else I can fix while you're asleep and sound

Surgical incisions

All without direction

Limbs removed from body

Just as a precaution

You are cured

I'm assuming

I just need to put you back together

I have both lungs, but misplaced the heart

I glued your arms on backwards so I'll need to restart

Why is your left arm attached to the right leg

I'm sure those don't go there but where is the head

The toes are entangled in entrails and tounge

The ribcage is shielding the nose, mouth and eyes

The table is engulfed in a mess of bodily fluids

I scoop it up by hand but see there's nowhere left to put it back into