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I am back here once again

In the mist

In the mist without sight

I thought I fought my way back

Now I'm afraid

I'm afraid to lose hope

Will I ever be the man

In control

In control of his world?

Open wounds that will not heal

Pull me back

Pull me back inside

And I

I was always on the side

Of conformities and pride

Had no shelter from the rain

And I

I was always on the side

So I kept my little lie

To be safe from what may come

To be alone inside of my thoughts

A state that I tend to avoid

But if I can't get to them

I think no one can

Moving forward nonetheless

I'm afraid this is how I've become

How can I sort it out

When I don't even know what I'm looking for?

If I only knew that, at least

I could deal with it

I don't even have a plan

On how to move forward from here

Oh, my life

Is on hold

In this moment

There is nothing here but darkness

My life

Is on hold

It's on hold

Until I've figured out this maze

I hold my breath and count to ten

Maybe then

It will all go away

Distraction strategies may work

But only

Only for so long