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Apparently outside people are dying

I'm inside playing my fifth game of Skyrim

In a video game I'm a warrior

A real tough rebel, a neo Tom Sawyer

In reality though, I'm kind of useless

With a big pot belly and arms like toothpicks

The inside of my mouth is toothless

But the online reviews that I write are ruthless

I embody what Kurt Cobain meant

Just a hurt soul seeking out some entertainment

For me the government's got pre arrangements

And I'm not really sure where my brain went

I got my eyes on a screen and I feel so serene

With a sedentary lifestyle since I was a teen

Getting high off dabs and fentanyl

And I'm starting to evolve tentacles

I'm freezing up, and you just cannot understand

Our lease is up, this is the curse of modern man I tell you

I'm just a modern man

I'm living and I'm dying just as fast as I can

I'm just a modern man

Getting my kicks before I kick the can

I'm just a modern man

Looking at my Smartphone for 24 hours

No time for exercise, work or showers

Online I brag about my powers

In reality I'm just another coward

I'm sitting here high with no apologies

Just another victim of manthropology

Now you know what that look on my face meant

I'm 40 and I live in mom's basement

Who knew that all these cool inventions

Would have evolutionary consequences

I'm weaker than a little mouse named Feival

Increased dependency on meds for survival

My memory capacity is diminished

My history's a mystery before I'm even finished

I think I'm going to protest on Twitter

While I eat Doordash on the shitter

I'm freezing up, and you just cannot understand

Our lease is up, this is the curse of modern man I tell you

I'm just a modern man

I'm living and I'm dying just as fast as I can

I'm just a modern man

Getting my kicks before I kick the can

I'm just a modern man