---

So many times I didn't

stop to think about it

So many times I only

looked at the knife for minutes

So many times since

I swore I never do this,

always telling me there

would be no drugs and

it wouldn't hurt me

So many times I swear

not to repeat it

So many times

I couldn't fix it

So many times I was a

coward and always slept late

So many times I lost myself

in alcohol and drugs to forget it

There is always a way to

destroy oneself ...

Still knowing you're

hurting yourself

So many times that my

blood fell to the floor,

while looking at my arm,

chest and bloodied legs.

So many times I woke up

with the pain of the cuts

and wondering

What the hell am I doing with me?

So many times I lost my patience...

Not knowing how to cope

with problems,

because I didn't think

and nothing is fixed that way.

For the time that I lost

in the depression in which I sank,

for believing that

I am bad for everything,

Believe that I am useless.

Today the knife drew on me

the memories that remain in my skin ...

Days go by and depression

envelops me again

Every time I enter my "home"

emptiness and depression envelop me

Like a scent around me

I'm hungry but I don't

feel the need to eat,

I feel sleepy but

can't sleep well I just need

to rest a moment from these thoughts

I'm getting tired day by day.

I'm too young to allow this

but I find no meaning in

this perverse world.