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(dedicated to James Warren, Archie Goodwin, and all the others who made Uncle Creepy and Cousin Eerie a part of my family)

Dear Uncle Creepy, it's been years

Morbid fantasy exterminates my childhood fears

Dear Uncle Creepy, how can it be?

Some of the crap that's out these days is such a bore to me

Dear Uncle Creepy...

The shit they call "horror" in the comic store

Nobody's got that style anymore!

Pre-code classics provide the chills

This high-tech bullshit never will!

As far as movies are concerned,

There's a plenty out what should be burned

The horror's gone, big budgets here

What ever happened to the meaning of FEAR????

Dear Uncle Creepy, it's a crying shame

The "terror" of the 90's is so fucking lame

What ever happened to the good ol' days

Has you and Cousin Eerie turning in your graves!!!