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[Brother Pain's Reading}

"And there he goeth up hence to Bethel

And he is going in the way

And the young little youths have come out from the city

And scoff at him and say unto him

'Go up bald head, go up thy bald head'

He looketh behind him and see-eth them

And declareth them vile in the name of Jehova

And two bears came out of the forest

And rendeth them in two..."

And here's chapter 1

And I read the instructions

Scribed upon the page one of the tome

My mind it be doth wander

"Write in only red ink and then. Blah blah blah"

I skip past the instructions

They're dead boring, I scan the preface

I leaf straight to the action

No distraction for me, just

The Book of Doom

Now here's chapter 2

I ignite sacred candles

I cut into my arm with the quill

Then I plot your demise

As I write down your names here 1,2,3

Now your fate is secured

I have made your outlook look quite grim

What's this? Something is weird

In retrospect (and thinking about it) perhaps I should have paid some more attention to

The Books of Doom

"This book is property of John Romero."

"Balls where is it?"

"I Don't know, you had it!"

"Is that it?"

"No."

Now where's chapter 3?

Holy crap I have I lost it

I am sure I put it over there

That bit's really important

OH EFF! Where has it gone, where's it gone, gone, gone

I give up I can't find it

The Librarian will not be pleased

Plus my curse is quite ruined

With frustration I then bin

The Book of Doom

"Just a reminder that your book is overdue."

"Shit!"