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Lord, if you don't help me, I can't get through this.

I can't.

Lord, I'm too old for games... foolishness

And I'm tired of rhetoric. Meaningless rhetoric.

It never changes things.

Lord... please help me.

Help me...

I was feeling God's PAIN

and I've never had anything that's been any worth to God

in my 50 years that wasn't born in agony.

Never. Never.

Dead, empty.

And I know that sermons won't do it.

I know that revelation won't do it.

Covenant won't do it.

I know now... Oh my God do I know it.

Until I'm in agony.

Until I have been anguished over it.

I'm preaching sermons... Oh God...

I broke down

and I wept

and I mourned.

Does that matter to you at all?

I can't handle this.

I can barely make it into this.

Little by little you're losing

the love of God...

the love of Christ...

People I know of that were my friends and I see them they go one by one.

Some were my closest friends.

You're changing.

You know what you were.

You're changing.

Little by little something's happening to you.

Would it bring you to your knees?

That's all the Devil wants to do

Get the fight out of you and kill it.

So you won't labor in prayer anymore.

You won't weep before God anymore.

GO TO HELL!

No weeping?

Not a word of prayer?

It's all ruined.

No laughing.

This is life and death.

When the walls go down, and ruin sets in...

Where are the tears?

Where's the mourning?

Where's the confessing?

Love of Christ.. the agony of God's heart...

We have sinned.