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Beloved, we are gathered here today

To mourn the passing of common sense

Beautiful it was, this precious gift

It's untimely death has caused us grief

Stabbed to death by political correctness

And humans who choose to cease all brain activity

Common sense, we mourn your death

You shall remain in our hearts and memories

Your death has caused humanity to regress

Back into a primitive carnal state

Our hope is that you will be resurrected

From this grave that binds you