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Went to a party

I danced all night

I drank 16 beers and I started up a fight

But now I am jaded

You're out of luck

I'm rolling down the stairs, too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck

You're too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk, too drunk

Too drunk to fuck

I like your stories

I love your gun

Shooting out cop tires sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room

Wish you were dead

You bawl like the baby in Eraserhead

I'm too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

It's all I need right now

Too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck

You're too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

I'm sick soft gooey and cold

Too drunk to fuck

I'm about to drop

My head's a mess

The only salvation is I'll never see you again

You give me head

It makes it worse

Take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse

I'm too drunk to fuck

You're too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

It's all I need right now, oh baby

I'm melting like an ice cream bar, oh baby

And now I got diarrhea

Too drunk to fuck