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Laying down alone in the darkness

In this room my brain is pale and fucked

As if it were gushed out of my head

Memories are like chunks of dead flesh

Decomposing, deforming, and stinking

Isolation in a pool of blood and lymph

Mutilating myself is the only escape

Uncontrollably slicing my flesh

To get rid of this harming negativity

Slowly slicing my face with a knife

Savagely scratching my stomach

Sadistically gouging out my eyes

I feel the blood running on my body

Using a hammer to beat my legs

Blissfully my bones are pounded

Domination of disgusting hallucinations

The walls become a mass of innards

Blood-splattered, pus-soaked, nasty

It spouts out putrid bodily liquids

The sight is grotesque and blissful

I have no more will to be alive

The posthumous realm is waiting

Pouring gasoline all over my body

Igniting this disgusting self alive

Smelling the burnt blood and flesh

The pain leads to extreme ecstasy

Transforming into ashes I am dead

My remains shall not exist