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In the morning when I wake up, I gotta watch the way I walk

When I get a piss hard-on fire comes out my cock

I stand there for a minute and I'm trying not to think

So I can try to keep the remnants of that dream in my dink.

If I get it on the floor, I know my mom will freak

Why is it so much trouble just to take a fuckin' leak?!

I just know it will be stiff as a board

And I'll wake everyone up when I scream "OH LORD!"

I scream when I urinate, oh it hurts so much

I'm in pain when I pee, I don't even wanna touch it

I'll keep it in my bladder and hope it goes away

And like the rain, come back some other day!

I wish when i woke up I could just take a shit

I'd just bear down and get it over with

I cant take it no more, this pain is the meanest,

I'ts like Niagara Falls coming out my penis

Next time I wont drink as much the night before

I can't take no more of this hell, that's for sure

It's coming out so fast it's starting to sud

I really fuckin' hope I don't piss blood!

I scream when I urinate, oh it hurts so much

I'm in pain when I pee I don't even wanna touch it

I'll keep it in my bladder and hope it goes away

And like the rain, come back some other day

I scream when I urinate, I scream when I urinate!!