Seven basic plots! This story has been told many times before We're waiting to hear it all over again We fucking said it all First one's overcoming the monster It could be an addiction Could be gambling problem And sometimes it's a bear Rebirth into another time and space Forced to see our own face And maybe we'll even compromise Until we reach what we desire Are you writing all of this down? Good Let's hear your story right now Are you writing all of this down? Good I'll repeat that we have Fucking said it all Next there's rags to riches Or is it riches to rags? It's like The Prince and the Pauper Brewster's Millions The stakes aren't very high This is a quest I'm requesting some companions This is a quest Resisting temptation Rebirth to an unknown place Where there is no saving grace Protagonist will be forced to compromise For fear his story will die It's been revealed that a twist is now in play The plot is a red herring The studios don't care about the art When the bottom line is all about those Seven basic plots Next one's voyage and return It's like The Quest Except you go somewhere and come back You cannot change What's been hard fought and won Rebirth into another time and space Forced to see our own face And maybe we'll even compromise Until we reach what we desire Are you writing all of this down? Good Let me hear your story right now Are you writing all of this down? Good Why don't you tell me a story? This is a quest I'm requesting some independence This is a quest The point is completely absurd It's the comedy Is it a tragedy? Let's hear Dante Submitted For your approval It's the story of a man Or is it a woman? I guess the gender doesn't matter Fact is they're broken And they gotta repair themselves With some kind of substance But it turns out it's a poison! It's a comedy Or a tragedy Where's Dante? THE ABSURDITY Submitted For your approval It's the story of a man Who turned into a fish And then he fucked another fish And then saved America From the Japanese In World War Two He's a hero fish fucker! Back in the 90's it was all about Bodily function humor And then a mannequin kicks a guy in the balls Then everybody laughs It's a bunch of nonsense Oh it's a tragedy That it's a comedy With your money You voted with your wallet! This is a tragedy Not a comedy It killed Dante THE AUDACITY Rebirth to an unknown place Where there is no saving grace Protagonist will be forced to compromise For fear his story will die It's been revealed that a twist is now in play The plot is a red herring The studios don't care about the art As long as it's big in China