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When it came to me one day in Jerksville

Man, I was right on the edge

That jacket’s too small for a man of your size

And those socks are too big for your head

My eyes glaze at whatever you say

But I’m listening, do tell me more

It goes under the bridge, right over my head

And out through my portable door

I was trapped in a dire situation

Between reason and someone-in-law

The winner takes all and runs off with the ball

Nothing could pleasure me more

Times were, I’d have spoken my piece

For a minute or two held the floor

But I can’t get a word in so here I am hurtling

Right out through my portable door

The jabbering’s hurting my brain cell so bad

For once in my life I am bored

The public house beckons, I follow the call

And slip in through my portable door

The unlikely event came upon me

I wasn’t prepared for the shock

Once round my neck and twice round the deck

And the rest disappeared up the block

So here we are and everything’s changed

Faster than ever before

You gotta be jokin’, man what are you smoking

Blow it out through my portable door