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I run away

Away from what I am.

My thoughts are buried

deep inside

Inside my broken self

So deep, where they shall rot.

But they ferment there, they thrive.

They’re breaking through.

But they accumulate, they escalate.

They’re pouring out.

They cover up this mess,

that I‘ve become.

Cannot stand this morass,

the silt I am.

This image, this wish,

This straight up a lie.

A lie, only I

I believe.

Then I finally dare it,

full of tremble and fear,

to take a look in the mirror,

and recognize,

the being that I am.

Now I’ve seen my innerself,

Now I’ve seen my innerself,

Now I’ve seen my innerself,

I hate myself.