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You booked us a show and said everything was a go

But now the venue flaked; you're totally screwed

Two days from the date set you're clearing a spot in your basement

The show must go on, man; what else could you do?

Your laundry room once held all your hangers

But now it's filled with punks and headbangers

And your roommate's getting pissed off defending his stuff

From all the kids here rowdy and full of beer

Tonight's the night for subterranean thrash assault

If your neighbors call the cops it's not our fault

You shouldn't move next door to people that suck ass

We just came to have some fun and play some thrash, have a blast

Before we leave we'll siphon their cars of all the gas

We're doing dives off the washing machine

And I saw some drunk with his head in the dryer

So I doubt your clothes are still clean

Yeah basement shows are the best around

And the underground scene's always better

When its under the ground

Your lawn will get fucking tortured

By drunken thrashers puking off your porch

And on your floor beer will get fucking spilled

So don't forget to get the keg refilled