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Children let me tell you a tale

Of a mythical man and his cargo van

Tonight you'd better say your prayers

Remember that this story is true

 - SO BEWARE -

He sneaks into your room - at night

Kinda like the Tooth fairy

Zorro mask, gloves and - black cape

And balls that are hairy

When you're in a state of deep sleep

The bandit takes advantage

He pries open your mouth

Wild sexual testicle carnage

A secret scrotal assault

Vigilante ball - doom blitz

What's that nasty taste of salt?

Sperm sprayed across your lips

Tea baggin', tea baggin', tea bgaggin' - nut bandit

Tea baggin', tea baggin', tea baggin;' - NUT!

Tea baggin', tea baggin', tea baggin' - nut bandit

Wake up choking on his balls!

He removes his sack and creeps out of sight

A rude awakening in the dead of night

Was it just a nightmare or is the legend true?

Either way your face is covered in fuckin' man glue!

Before you can do shit, he vanishes into thin air

And you're left traumatized with a mouth full of pubic hair

Who is this masked outlaw, who's nuts swing free?

Who is the nut bandit?

It's a mystery!

( Repeat Paragraph Two )