---

Over time, I let that seed of uncertainty

bloom into a tree. A tree which cannot be cut down for me.

A compulsion which befell every part of me. I had crawled back

into the rabbit hole I thought I'd never return to, but I am accustomed.

To avoid any leaves of self doubt amidst loved ones.

The dirt and earth collapsed and trickled down above me,

behind me, as I burrowed deeper and deeper.

The more I struggle, the more I die.

Inevitability of darkness. What once was a seed of doubt

are roots that shelter me and remind me where I belong --

In a hole.

I choke on the world. I choke on the world.

And I swallow its contents painfully, yet willingly.