As you know, Bucketheadland has been the source of a great deal of controversy regarding safety and health issues. You may have heard that we failed our health inspection again due to the annual increase in the amount of maggots found in the cemetery corpses. We are proud to announce that the maggot crops have been reduced by 25% and we are now committed to sell certain types of candy in some areas of the park under strict controlled circumstances.
We have already been discussing plans to cut down on spider eggs and pinworms in the kitchen.
There has also been some noise in the local media and in the amusement park industry quarterlies about the safety of our rides, which have been known to fall apart or go rogue from time to time. It is true that the rides sometimes go off the tracks but we assure you that they generally come back. Rides do tip over or come unhinged on occasion, but we firmly believe that the threat of this happening is part of the thrill our visitors are looking for.
