Dan Tyrantor's diary of Usurper's trip to Tijuana
Dan Tyranator, vokillist of Earache's Usurper, posted the following blog on his myspace page concerning the band's recent showing in Tijuana, Mexico:
Hails fron the Alcoholi-kult!
Well three of us are back home in Chicago. Myself, Rick, and Chris all flew home Sunday night along with tour manager extrordinaire Jimmy Doo, while Joe and Jon decided to take an extended vacation to L.A. (we will be holding auditions for a drummer and bass player soon, as Im sure those two guys are already dead.)
Friday morning we checked into Midway Airport with about 2 hours to kill before our flight. As we walked through security, this chick that writes for Circus Magazine somehow hooked up with us. Joe and I talked to her for a minute until we saw that Harry Carray's Sports Bar was already open!!!!!! We decided that the best course of action was to have a Bloody Mary. So Joe, Jon, Jimmy, myself and this girl (Amy???) bellied up to the bar and ordered drinks and started a tab. A half hour later, Rick and Chris showed up and joined in the Jackassery. We asked for the bill at 11:40AM, and it was $178.00!! We bought a few more drinks and then realized that our plane was leaving at the other end of the airport in about ten minutes.
We barely made it on board and took the only available seats waaaaaaaay in the back. After we settled ourselves down and took off, THATS when we realized that Jon was having.... a problem. He was so goddamn drunk, he couldnt stay in his seat. He just kind of slouched over the armrest into the aisle. When he would occasionally wake up, he was downright SLOSHED! I offered him some peanuts, which he promptly spilled, and then incredulously produced two bologna sandwiches from his carry on bag! As he ate the first one, a piece of bologna flew out and landed on this old man's arm. Jon reached over in slow motion and picked the meat up and fucking ATE IT!!!! He then got up and staggered over to where Chris was sitting. Jon took the second sandwich and said "Your lunch, sir" and the threw the sandwich at high velocity into Chris' crotch. When we got to San Diego, Jon refused to leave his seat, so the entire flight crew had to basically carry him to the door, where he was deposited into a wheelchair. The rest of the band piled all of our luggage and coats on top of him, and thats how Anthony and Isreal the promoter and runner met us for the first time!
Lots of driving later, we wound up in Tijuana at our hotel. Jon promptly passed out. This is when Joe discovered that he did NOT have his carry on bag, ugh! Rick was to do an interview at a local radio station, and we were all starving. Anthony took us to this AMAZING taco stand... Im telling you, I wish I was eating those tacos right now. Everyone basically went their seperate ways, with Jimmy, Isreal, and myself grabbing some beer and heading towards the hotel when my phone rang. It was Jon! He had escaped the hotel and was lost somewhere in downtown TJ! Somehow we found that bonehead and threw him in the truck. Jimmy and Jon went and did their own thing, while I drank beer and passed out early like a pussy.
Saturday morning, I got up early and walked the streets of Tijuana. I found an internet cafe' and like the sports nerd that I am, checked some hockey scores. I headed back to the hotel and woke up Jon and demanded that he go with me to grab a few cases of beer. As we walked down Revolucion Ave. we were offered everything under the sun! Jon finally relented and bought a leather vest and this re-cock-ulous beer holster. (like a holster for a gun, but it holds a beer to your leg). We stopped at every single place that was open on the way to the store in order to drink a beer and eat a few tacos. Goddamn, I think the entire crew ate their own weight in tacos. We somehow stumbled into the liquor store and grabbed our provisions. On the way back, we ran into Rick and Chris who had been making their own wacky purchases (Alligator boots and such) and we realized that the instore signing was in like 2 hours! Jom and I quickly had our picture taken with a donkey while wearing sombreros, and cruised back to the hotel.
We arrived at the record store and started shopping and drinking. About ten minutes later, a steady stream of fans poured in to have posters/cd's/flyers/napkins signed, and we were more than happy to oblige them all. When we were done, it was supposed to be time for sound check at the venue, but almost none of the drums were even set up yet, so I hiked back to the hotel to change. My crappy bed was sooo comfy, that I fell asleep and woke up at about the time the first band was supposed to start! oops.
I hauled ass back to the venue just in time to catch Omission. I headed backstage and started drinking all of Avenger of Blood's beer, hehe. Hung out briefly with my Metal sister Zdenka from Estuary, and then watched them destroy the place!!!! Avenger of Blood was fucking THRASH-TASTIC as always!!!! And then it was out turn.
The crowd was nuts, and eager to sing along, mosh, thrash and party! Thank you all so much!... there is no USURPER without the fans, and its looking like our Mexican and SoCal fans are among the most passionate and loyal. The set list for the show was such:
Conquest of the Grotesque, Bones of my Enemies, 1666 AD, Kill for Metal, Vatican Time Machine, Warriors of Iron and Rust, Full Moon Harvest, Shadowfiend, Reptilian, Metal Lust.... encores were Wrath of God, Slavehammer, and Cryptobeast.
After the show, we sat with the fans and signed anything anyone had for us to sign, and then hit the dressing room for some hard drinkin with our friends. I got pretty sloshed, and somehow it was determined that signing Dan Tyrantor's body would be a swell idea. Eep!
I woke up early the next morning and when I took off my shirt to take a shower, I was horrified! I was absolutely COVERED in Sharpie ink! My favorite piece of human graffitti said "FUKK IS GOOD" on my ribs. We still had about two hours to kill before we were leaving for the airport, and I noticed that we still had about 15 Tecate beers and most of a giant bottle of Jagermeister in the room. I started drinking, and I really dont remember much until we were about an hour away from Chicago!!!!!
Massive thanks to Anthony and Isreal for making our stay an amazing time. Thanks also to our cool friends on MySpace that came out, especially Priscilla, Dulce, and Heriberto. Thanks for being so fucking cool! The staff at Box Underground, and at Last Tempation Rock Shop were also amazing. Huge thanks for the help and patience of Jimmy for being a hell of a roadie/tour manager/babysitter. We couldnt have done it without you, my brother!!!!
We all had such an amazing time, and we would love to come back!!! Hailz, and keep KILLING FOR METAL!
Dan Tyrantor