Ozzy Osbourne Uses The Oldest Trick In The Book

I always find it sad when an actress with waning popularity does or says something stupid to get press around the time of a movie release. The tabloids move her to the cover with a full expose. Talk shows and entertainment news programs take the bait and suddenly welcome the starlets ongoing drama to headline status, always wishing her a full recovery at the end of the segment, but not forgetting to mention she has a new movie or album coming out.

Sadly, metal is not immune as recently seen by the strategically floated "divorce news" of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne. This of course was followed by separate statements, which is important as it means twice the coverage, from both parties involved denying the rumors their camp days earlier floated to the press. Of course to keep the story going until the Black Sabbath tickets go on sale, one needs to offer up additional tidbits of info...but what?

Drug Usage! No celebrity news drama is complete without the protagonist doing drugs. We have learned that from Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Robert Downey Jr among others. Everyone can relate. We have all had a family member struggle with drugs and or alcohol. It is important as it brings the star down to our level and makes us see them as being someone like us. We can identify with their problems. It always gets the reader feeling sympathetic. So cue Ozzy's big announcement in 3..2..1...

Ozzy has just issued a statement apologizing to family and fans for his recent drug and alcohol abuse. I just get so teared up reading his words "For the last year and a half I have been drinking and taking drugs. I was in a very dark place and was an a–hole to the people I love most, my family." Be strong Ozzy, we'll buy your Black Sabbath album on June 9 now, you don't need to worry.

If only there was some hope, just a glimmer, at least so I know things will be alright. Especially with this news dropping within hours of Black Sabbath's big tour announcement.

Ozzy went on to state "However, I am happy to say that I am now 44 days sober. I'm just trying to be a better person."

Yes! He's going to be alright folks. Ozzy is such a trooper.

So 44 days sober and you just happen to drop the news days after press heard Black Sabbath's new album and on the same day as your band's U.S. tour is announced?

If your publicist had any balls at all, the statement from you would have been this "I'm Ozzy Osbourne and for the entire duration of recording the new album I was heavily abusing drugs and alcohol. I tell you that because we all know albums turn out better when the artist was strung out. I will continue to abuse them for the duration of the tour so you can experience classic Ozzy on stage once again and not the guy you have grown accustomed too that pisses himself between songs."

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Tags:  Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne   

Jason Fisher    April 16, 2013