Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles Interview

Introduce your current line-up to our readers?



Dick: Dick Delicious, will and always has been, Hugh G. Rection and myself, plus a succession of different drummers. We've had twelve dummers since we started,making a drummer average tenure in Dick Delicious somewhere around 8 or 9 months, cause me and Hugh are real assholes. Right now Busta Hymen is pounding the skins and banging all of the white women for us. Me - I'm a race trader and prefer to hang with sistas'. Hugh G. Rection has sex with sheep exclusively.



How long has the group been in existence?



Dick: We stared the band in 684 A.D. when we were all Vikings...then we traveled forward in time to 1965 and started a Viking metal band. Unfortunately we were a little ahead of our time, so we teleported back the 684 A.D. Then we went ahead again to 1992 where we wound up hanging out in a strip bar on a few hits of acid - that's where we got the idea for this band.



In your own words describe your band's sound & influences?



Dick: We are influenced primarily by Bud light...we drink it constantly. I am a big fan of the wacky tabaky, but the rest of the band is one Federal Probation for crossing state lines with an un-registered fetus - so they can't smoke. Those guys do a lot of the ole' Devil's Dandruff, but my heart can't handle it cause of so many years of pork abuse. Xanax, keeps my from flipping out and arbitrarily killing Muslims. You can never go wrong with LSD or Ecstasy. Other than that, we like Monty Python, Tenacious D, old Richard Pryor, South Park, and Beavis and Butthead - not to mention "Girls Who Suck Cock and Eat Cum Volume 666" and about every other hetero porn film the adult industry has ever produced. This makes for a really shitty, stupid sounding band.



Name some bands in which you've shared the stage & opened?



Dick: We never share the stage with anyone. I mean we're all kind of fat, so there's barley enough room for us!! We really enjoyed digging out Bitney Spears's nappy when she opened her legs once, while on a bunch of roofies that we gave her. Headlining the last Lileth Fair was a memorable moment. I heard a rumor that Elvis is thinking about coming back from the dead, cause he wants to open for us.



Where & what studio did the production take place of your current
release?



Dick: Our latest release "Bigger than Ron Jeremy" was recorded in a tin storage shed, that was formerly owned by, Pablo Escobar, on a boom box. I spent the last 5 years moving the boom box from location to location around our storage shed to find just that right sound.



What is the current scene like in your local area & how does Dick D fit in?



Dick: The scene in Atlanta sucks 400 pile bags of elephant dick. The only good thing is since we've been around since 1992...I mean...684 A.D, we've lasted long enough to attract a large loyal following in Atlanta and the states our fucked up ass van can get to in Da' Dirty South. We're the last real metal band in the ATL as far as I'm concerned. Everybody else is just a bunch of New Metal crap, which is gay. We're the only one's that have kept it real, and straight people appreciate that.



What's the bands long & short term goals as far as touring, recording, writing ect ?



Dick: We our short goals are to get drunk and fuck some strippers, which I am going to do as soon as I finish this interview. Our long term goals are to release CD after CD for our own mega-label "We Finally Put This Shit Out Ourselves Records" that will keep blasting up the pop charts with New Metal song after New Metal song about how disturbed we are, how you gotta "Get Away", and how our parents didn't molest us enough.



We're already working on our forth CD and will release it weather a real label will put it our or not, and we plan on doing enough gigs to where we can finally get booked in Amsterdam. There, we will do so much drinking, drug taking, and 100 Guilder hooker screwing that we forget to play our own show.



As far as wring goes, I'm working on a book now about ways to make Salad Dressing at home.



What would you say is your biggest gripe about the music industry?



Dick: Oh man, I can't gripe about the music industry at all - it's been great to us...I mean, how else would I be able to afford the gold plated Lambourgini's and my own mansion which it will take 10 episodes of MTV Cribs to cover? I really get tired of having to smack all the record executives, throwing lucrative contracts, out of my way every time I walk out my door...THAT gets old. The fact that Yanni ever became part of "the music industry" kind of disturbs me, but other than that we've enjoyed every minute of it. :-)



Has there been any label interest ?



Dick: One time, after almost 10 years of being turned down by label after label, I was listening to our new CD...I was so impressed with it I decided to sign myself. Other than that, really nothing.



Any thing you wish ad ?



Dick: Visit our website at WWW.DICKD.COM - where you can buy CD's, hear free MP3's, see Busta Hymen's spread from the latest issue of "Black Inches", browse delightful free pornography, find out if we ever plan on touring in your area, and sell your soul to Satan Thanks,


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Jason Fisher    November 30, -0001