How Much Anal Sex Goes On At The Big 4?

How much anal sex goes on at the Big 4? According to Christwire.org, a lot. The Christian do-gooder website has a nice bar graph (so it must be scientific) showing what groups of people are doing what what in the butt. According to their scientific research, Gays get the most ass play, followed by Fat Metal Girls (yes, that is a category). Take a look at the graph below so you'll know who to avoid if you aren't into riding the hershy highway at a metal concert.



Christwire.org goes on to say that "not only are these bands responsible for devil worship, fecal frenzy anal sex acts in America, but they are also responsible for murder increase in other countries. Who knows how many lives we saved last week by notifying parents about the dangers of Coachella Fest. Let us do the same this week and let parents know their kids are in danger of becoming a Satan child or even worse a Homosexual."

Some other reasons stated by Christwire.org to keep your kids away from The Big 4 are The bands themselves.

Metallica is Sudanese for “red” and we know Satan’s favorite colored shirt is the color of aborted babies blood. So again we see that this music is made to make people take babies and make abortion a sacrificial offering to the death lord.

Slayer...now if that name alone doesn’t perk up your Christian ears, then nothing will. A band named after a word that promotes the killing of innocent Christians. Is this the kind of message you want your kids listening to? I think not!

[Megadeth] What a beautiful name! Let’s praise a band that promotes the calling of a massive massacre of people. This band has caused more murder than black hipped hopped music. Their newest song “Countdown to Extinction” is purely a song that is brainwashing children into becoming apart of their mental holocaust. They want to rid the world of all good and kind souls and if that means by deadly force..then so be it.

Anthrax takes their name from the Muslim terrorists favorite chemical to send to people in the mail. So, should we think it is ok for a band to be teaching our children how to send of powdered mail bombs? We think not. Do you think it is ok for a band to tell your children that Satan will take care of them after they perform a triple homicide? This band is vile and hurtful to Jesus’ heart.

So there you have it anal sex loving, gothic murdering, fat gay satanic vampires. And I thought Big 4 was just about music.

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Tags:  Big 4, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer

Jason Fisher    April 22, 2011