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Top 10 Concert Assholes

Every show has 'em. Probably nothing we can do about it, but if this weeks top 10 gets atleast one to change their ways then mission accomplished. Below are my Top 10 Concert Assholes. Who do you hate at the shows?

Neo-nazi at black metal shows

Such assholes. Always has to be a couple at black metal shows.

Too Old

I am not suggesting that there needs to be an age cap on metal concert admission, but maybe if the old people will just hang out back with the kids who came with their parents. I realize that you aren't as old as Ozzy, but I don't see Ozzy making an ass of himself in the crowd.

Ninja Training

There is only 1 metal ninja so stop practicing your kicks and chops with 200 people around you. It ain't cool. You look like a fucking retard flailing your arms around like that. Maybe I am old (not old enough for the above to apply) but moshpits are cool for running around and smashing into people. When people start leaving the pit due to some wanker busting their face open, it ain't cool.

Drunk

Everyone loves to grab a couple shots, followed by a beer chaser and follow that with another shot, but know when you have had enough. If you notice you are the only one standing on your seat dancing, or the light tech turns a spotlight on you and you hear applause for your behavior, you might have had 1 too many.

Race to shout out song title after first note

We all know you are a fan of the band. That is why you are in the front row scribbling down songs you want to hear. But why do you find it necessary to blurt out the name of the song after the first bar. We get it, you spend all your time listening to the bands entire works and know all their songs, even the crap at the end of the CD. Ever wonder why you are at the show alone?

Hater

Why do people pay money to boo a band? When a band I don't like is on stage, I am knocking back a few at the bar not throwing shit and ruining the set for others. Fuck you guys, You guys never hit your intended target and usually hit the fans in the front row.

Guy with camera phone

"Look Ma, I'm a concert videographer!" Just watch the show. Unless you are that fucked up to remember the next day, there really is no reason you need to record some shitty footage with distorted sound for youtube.

Frequent stage diver

Stage diving is cool. It can ad that exclamation to a killer song. But when the band is up there playing a ballad, it isn't the time for a stage dive. There is a reason the audience is holding up their lighters; we are hoping to ignite your drunk ass for diving on us.

The guy from the small band handing out photocopied flyers that isn't going anywhere

Simple, stop handing me shit when I leave a club. It is bad enough having bands give me demos at shows. Look at me, my pockets are full, I have no place to put any more shit you hand me except the trash. This just doesn't apply to me. Look on the ground. If there are more flyers on the ground than in your hand, your marketing efforts aren't going well.

Overweight Girl that Thinks She's Hot and Won't Stop Flashing

This usually happens at Ozzfest. And now that Zakk Wylde isn't playing guitar for Ozzy, the fat chicks that love flashing will hopefully stay home. Girls...you can always tell if it is a bad idea to flash. If guys start yelling "NO!" then leave the top on.

Misplaced Fan

What to wear at a concert can always be daunting. There aren't many rules in what to wear at a metal show aside from not wearing the headlining bands shirt (unless it's vintage). Just make sure you are dressing for the genre. Leave your eyeliner at home, unless you are at a Trivium show (we kid!!! we love Trivium). Cradle of Filth IS NOT BLACK METAL! Don't show up with spikes and corpse paint. There are always a handful of you doing this.